


It's Only Love

by chucks_prophet



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Dean Winchester Can't Cope, Episode: s15e18 Despair, Flash Forward, Grieving Dean Winchester, Heavy Angst, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Post-Episode: s15e18 Despair, Reference to s14e17, So If You're Sensitive To That I Would Click Off, Spells & Enchantments, T Just For The Usual Hand Slicey Spell Stuff, The Empty (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:35:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27503173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chucks_prophet/pseuds/chucks_prophet
Summary: "Hello again, Dean."Dean rises to his feet as the sludge slowly dissipates from the materializing form before him."Hey, Cas."
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 3
Kudos: 46
Collections: SPN Finale "Destiel is CANON" Collection





	It's Only Love

**Author's Note:**

> I leave for a couple weeks and Destiel goes canon - @ showrunners: dramatic much?
> 
> But for real, I genuinely thought everything about this scene was perfect, down to Dean's reactions DESPITE what other fans are saying (this being said, all hateful comments about homophobia will be removed). .-. We like to think Dean would've reacted, but the circumstances coupled with his self-loathing "I don't deserve this" attitude makes for exactly that. It doesn't mean he didn't love Cas back - I'd say his reactions said the contrary, if anything; it only proved he loved him back.
> 
> So instead of changing the scene, I merely flashed forward... and THEN gave us what we deserved.
> 
> What a journey for us longtime writers and readers, am I right? It's surreal to have written my first... *canon* Destiel fic. I've been an emotional wreck.

“Call off the dawn

'Cause I'm wide awake and can't seem to move on

I can't be alone with myself

And I can't find the way on my own…”

Dean's careful in the way he slices his hand. Careful the way he clenches his fist and lets the blood stream down the tented flesh between his pinkie and his palm. He's even careful lighting the match that ignites the stained army green coat.

_"... surgas ex abysso, in lumine exsistas."_

The fire hisses as the flames rise higher, engulfing the jacket and illuminating him in the dark of the dungeon. The wrinkles in his forehead are deeper. The crescent moons underneath his eyes—once a supernova of bursting color and life—are fuller. His smile lines have disappeared behind a forest of facial hair that's been overwatered by months of torrential grief.

The portal opens. The black sludge around it gurgles, almost taunting the way it reaches out for him like a dozen grabby hands.

He's poison, he knows this. Even The Empty knows it.

"Hello again, Dean."

Dean rises to his feet as the sludge slowly dissipates from the materializing form before him.

"Hey, Cas."

"This is the third time this month." He doesn't ask if everything is okay, for which Dean's grateful, but he is eyeing Dean's bloody palm.

Closing the wound with the temporary stitch of his fingers forming a tight fist, Dean shifts his focus to the ground and the warmth of the fire next to him. "Is it getting lonely in there?"

He's not sure where the question comes from, but Cas answers as if he's talking about the weather: "Sometimes," he replies, "but my thoughts of you fill the vacancy."

"Here too," Dean says, "Watching _High Noon_ without you isn't the same."

" _High Noon_ , I actually liked that one," Cas remarks, smirking, "The marshal's perseverance to fight in the face of danger despite the town going against him was admirable, much like someone I know."

"I don't want to, Cas," Dean admits, scrubbing a hand over his beard, "Ever since you..."

"You don't stop on account of me, Dean," he says, "you _keep going_ on account of me. Live for the both of us, if not yourself."

"Okay.” Heart pounding for the first time since Cas was taken, Dean steps dangerously close to the portal behind Cas that's threatening to close and drag them both into The Empty. Dean can't say he hasn't considered it, but he knows Cas wouldn't let him. "Okay, but there's something I have to do first."

Cas's lips are cold and dry when he presses against them, but they're _Cas's_. The hair he lifts his hands up to run his fingers through is Cas's. The body he presses up against is Cas's. The hands wrapping around his waist are Cas's. The tongue sliding against his like the missing bow of a violin is Cas's. The space between them when Dean pulls apart and the breath that lingers between them is Cas’s. It's always been Cas’s.

"Dean," he speaks up, eyeing the fire behind him dwindling down to nothing, “it's time to go."

Dean nods, closing his eyes as he rests his head against Cas's forehead one last time.

"Will I see you again?"

Dean looks up, facing Cas with a small smile. "No," he says with newfound confidence, "No, you won't."

Cas returns the smile. "Good," he says, stepping into the portal. The Empty latches onto him again, slithering up and around his arms like vines. "Goodbye, Dean."

"Goodbye, Cas."

“I'm scared of the thought of facing a new day

I can't see the end in my head

But I know that it starts out this way

And if all these roads

Don't lead you home

It's only love…”

**Author's Note:**

> Song credit: "It's Only Love" by Rob Thomas


End file.
